Douggie's Email
you can email douggie at:


Date: July 8, 9:12 AM
Subject: hi

you should make a douggie dinosaur movie!!! it wuld rock!!!!! b sooo kwl n ace!!!
Jonathan -

Re: hi
Thanks Playa!
I agree but sometimes Hollywood takes too much creative control. One time they let me direct one of my TV episodes but at the last minute they cut out all the sex scenes.
- - Douggie

Date: Jun 26, 3:49 PM
Subject: sup

u r like the best cartoon character ive ever seen
Andres -
Los Angeles

Re: sup
Thanks, man -
Yeah - I'm pretty awesome.
- - Douggie

Date: Jun 16, 11:42 AM
Subject: you are AMAZING!!!

haha your cartoon is the funniest shit i have ever seen. I had to watch it today at work just to make me laugh cause it's been a shitty day. Make more please!!!!! =)
Kerrey -
San Jose

Re: you are AMAZING!!!
Thanks, Kerrey!
I voted for you!
- - Douggie

Date: Jun 14, 1:57 AM
Subject: hey Douggie

A big Green dinosaur... thats fucking hot!
come on who are u i really want to know

Renee -

Re: hey Douggie
My true identity is classified - I can't tell you unless you can keep a secret. Can you? You can? Okay, great! Here is my true identity.
- - Douggie

Date: June 03, 9:33 AM
Subject: hay douggie

long time no talk. was up?
James -

Re: hay douggie
What's up, James!
Just working. I got a new job - I'm the guy on tv in between shows that says "Hi, meet my friend, Fluffy". She's a friendly cat in need of a good home, she's house trained and good with kids. Please call our Adopt-A-Pet hotline if you'd like to adopt her." Then I put Fluffy down and walk over to a different cat and I say "Remember this cat? Remember Tigger? Well, no one called in last week to adopt Tigger - so now I'm going to to eat him." And then I eat him right there on tv. Actually, lots of people call in to try to adopt the pets but I always pretend it's a wrong number and then hang up. "Hello? No, sorry we don't have any cats here - bye."
Now that I don't have to chase cats anymore, I'm getting a little out of shape - maybe I'll chase them in the studio - it could be an action series like "24" except with cats.
- - Douggie

Date: May 21, 4:58 AM
Subject: hahahaha

ur so god damn funny i was laughing for 2 weeks straight i couldnt even breath hahahahahahahahahahaha ur the best alive
Momo -

Re: hahahaha
Thanks, Momo! - BTW, do you have a Swiss bank account? Let's talk.
- - Douggie

Date: May 10, 1:58 PM
Subject: Hey

"Escape from Witch Mountain" is better than "The Apple Dumpling Gang".
Cheers then, eh.

Eric -

Re: Hey
Whaz up, playa!
I never saw "Escape from Witch Mountain" because my Christian parents said it glorified Satan. When I look back on it, I laugh at how ridiculous my parents were because it was such an innocent children's movie - it wasn't Satanic at all like Harry Potter is.
- - Douggie

Date: May 03, 2:44 PM
Subject: You are cool....

so fuckin funny.... my new hero..... lets get together & killl barney, he gives u a bad rap
Rich -

Re: You are cool....
Thanks, playa.
Yeah, whenever Barney robs from cars - they always blame me. I'm getting really sick of it.
- - Douggie

Date: April 24, 2:06 AM
Subject: Thanks for the rub down!

Hey, Douggie! Thanks for doing my back!

Arizona Sunshine -

Re: Thanks for the rub down!
You are very welcome and thank you for your kind invitation to stay at your beachfront villa! It was a very lovely holiday and you were looking so hot - as always. Sorry for all the police - I mean - paparazzi helicopters flying overhead. Why can't they just leave us alone!?!?
- - Douggie

Date: Feb 07, 11:58 AM
Subject: We love you!

Dear Douggie:
I am a prosecutor and my courtroom partners and I love you! Whenever we have a bad day in court, we go back to our office and watch "Douggie's Day In Court." We wish we could tell our judge to "Shut the fuck up!" If you ever need legal advice, please contact me!

Anon -

Re: We love you!
I'm glad I make you and your partners happy and thanks for the offer - If I get into any legal trouble, I will call you but I doubt I will because my resolution this year is to stop hookin'.
- - Douggie

Date: Jan 11, 5:49 PM
Subject: I got in a fight!

hey douggie! how are you? today i got in a fight with this kid at school and I punched him.
Dillan -
Sioux City

Re: I got in a fight!
Oh, yeah? I punched a cop !! - not really - I can't actually fight so good because my arms are too short - but one time at school this dude was picking on me so I bit him and I got sent to the office. Things sort of escalated from there because I ended up biting the principal, the counselor, the security guard, the cop they called, the finger-print lady, the mug-shot photographer, my cell mate, my court appointed lawyer, the judge, the bailiff, the stenographer, the prison bus driver, the prison guard, the warden, the priest, my parole officer - I wasn't even mad anymore - I was just "in the zone".
- - Douggie

Date: Jan 2, 11:53 AM
Subject: Happy New Year

hay douggie how have you been. did you set off any fireworks on new years eve?
James -

Re: Happy New Year
HELL YEAH - AND IT WAS AWESOME !! But the doctors say I'll be lucky if any feeling returns to the left side of my body. Totally worth it, though.
- - Douggie

Date: Dec 14, 7:27 AM
Subject: Hey Douggie

You are so funny Douggie! Im in love with you, by the way. What do you really do?
Rebecca -

Re: Hey Douggie
Nothing at the moment but I'm gonna' get a job ringing a bell outside of Wal-Mart. I've been practicing and I'm getting really good at it - I can even do it when I'm drunk.
- - Douggie

Date: Nov 25, 3:19 PM
Subject: Hi

hi what are you doing?
James -

Re: Hi
I just got kicked out of McDonald's cuz they wouldn't make me a taco like I asked them to. The manager came up to me and said "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." and I said "Fuck you, Ronald! I WANT A TACO!!" and then I started smacking things off of the counter - straws, plastic trays, mustard and ketchup packets were flying everywhere. Then I think he went to call the cops and I said "OKAY-OKAY, I'M LEAVING NOW!" Then he said "HEY ! ! !  PUT THAT DOWN!" really loud when he saw me behind the counter swiping a happy meal so I threw a hot apple pie at him but he slapped my happy meal away from me as I grabbed a cash register and ran out of the store with it and he chased me but it got too heavy to run with so I had to drop it and he grabbed me by the tail but I screamed "HELP ! !  HELP ! !  HE'S RAPING ME ! ! !" until he let go and that's when the next bus arrived. Lucky for me, he couldn't leave the cash register, so as the bus drove off, I said "Bye-bye, Ronald! Thanks for all the salt and pepper shakers!!!"

A few hours later I called the store and left a bunch of messages on their answering machine like "I'll be back... ...for breakfast...lunch...and dinner mutha-fuckka!." and then hang up. And "I know where you live..." and then hang up. And "I can see you..." and then hang up. And "I'm coming back in 5 minutes - and I want a Number 3 - supersized - with sprite." and then hang up.
- - Douggie

Date: Nov 23, 3:29 PM
Subject: Hey Douggie

whats up douggie. what hav you been doing latley. I haven't been able to talk to you because my computer crahed well I gess I will talk to you later seeya.
James -

Re: Hey Douggie
That's okay - I haven't been doing anything lately - just bored off my ass all the time but other than that, I'm just chillin' What have you been up to? Yesterday I went skiing - that was kind of cool.
- - Douggie

Date: Nov 21, 2:53 PM
Subject: watz up?

you shold tell the people at the mall the hell with you I won't my slipery slide lol.
James -

Re: watz up?
Yeah, it was total bull shit, man. Today, I went to the mall and stood on the very edge of the food court and made like I was gonna put my foot inside and I just stood there for a really really long time until the security guy came over and said "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." and I say "Why?" and he said "You're not allowed in the food court." and then I say "But I'm not in the food court." and then he gets mad and starts talking in his walkie-talkie and then I grab his hat and start running.
- - Douggie

Date: Nov 18, 2:42 PM
Subject: watz up?

lol man that is funny lolman what do u do there?
James -

Re: watz up?
Usually I just hang out at the mall - it's kind of boring because I got banned from the food court for eating chineese food, mexican food, fried chicken, pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries and onion rings. I was eating ice cream when they told me to stop so I dumped it all on the floor to make a slippery-slide.
- - Douggie

Date: Nov 14, 2:29 PM
Subject: Hey

lol man that is funny lolman what type of cat was it??????????
James -

Re: Hey
He was just a big fuzzy orange cat - I think he's still up there.
- - Douggie

Date: Nov 12, 2:47 PM
Subject: Hey

whats up douggie what are you doing? thanks for requesting me again. Is it fun in hollywood? i will talk to you later bye cya.
James -

Re: Hey
No prob, man. Hollywood is awesome - I just chased a cat up a palm tree.
- - Douggie